Is My Life Messed Up?

Published December 13, 2013

Question by Dramatox: Is my life messed up?
Ok so Iam just an ordinary teenage girl, with alot of hope in myself and trying to look at the bright side of things.

Untill like, the age of 12 or so, my family were together and everything was fine. just the exception that iam half italian and did get bullied in primary school for being too dark and never fitting in and never looking like the rest of the children and i was very dumb and laid back and loved food so i was quite fat and everyone knew to point that out at me… even some of my beautiful aunties. Apart from that it was perfect.
Then in high school i kind of fit in, i went on secret diets that nobody could really tell i was eating less food and lost weight (alot) and had like a perfect figure and i did become quite “pretty” or normal looking but i still didnt fit in because i was too wierd and i guess i was too friendly and a push over and everyone soon saw that and would constantly judge me for it and there was no way i could have ever been friends with the “cool kids” but then i was too dumb for the smart kids aswell i guess. But i did have my friends who i loved and everything and we had fun together so it was good.

But at 13 this is when my life completely changed forever. I thought my mum and dad where in love i was so sure, but i could tell they were arguing for a few years and maybe in the corner of my eye saw violence. But with short notice my mum had made us move to a diffrent town and it had all gone so fast even all my friends turned on me and accusing me of leaving them. I started my new school and it was really chavvy. The boys just saw me as a pretty girl with an attitude but i didnt even know how to act with these people i had never been through a change before like this. This school felt like hell. I got called a slag and all sorts by groups of boys but i had never even kissed a boy? I started this school in january in year 9 so i was 13. Its like when i went there i got scared that people would judge me because they did. so i wore make-up and stuff to make me feel more confident but no. i got called a fake slag even more. Other things in general all adds up to that abuse and this becomes a large amount of cruelty i had been given for what? I got a strong teenage depression when i was nearly 14 and didnt want to see anyone or go out with “friends” if i had some. I didnt know who i was. My mother has always had depression and been all over the place and treats me like dirt, somtimes she’s in a happy mood and will speak to me about stuff she likes. My dad loves me but i didnt know what to do. My brother is disabled so i couldnt have made this a big deal to my family they would have just thought i was being selfish, that could have been me.
I wanted to die. I wanted to kill myself because everything was going wrong and i didnt know what to do the houses i visit are not like the home i use to come from school.
I refused to go to school for a couple of months around christmas time and had lost chunk of education. But now iam going to the best school ever! where we always get accepted no matter what. Well to me it is anyway.
The problem is, why does everything go wrong. Not everything, but the majority of things. It was my birthday the other day but i just feel like shit.
My family is messsssed up and we are moving house all the time i want to be a normal teenage girl that can have money and just enjoy her teenage years. Iam depressed now and cry at night.
I know some of you are going to say “think about the children in Africa” i do, i help too i really feel for them. but iam still depressed i feel so selfish and that the seperation my parents have had was because of me. you’ll say it’s not, but i didnt exactly help. i always feel ugly now, i do try make myself look good but it feels worthless. all i need is life tips. i want to go to university because i have reached to top sets but i just, dont know! so is my life messed up?

Best answer:

Answer by Izzy
what makes you think teenagers should have money and enjoy their teenage years? the vast majority of teens struggle and hate that period of life. its just a phase…. you grow up and become an adult. life gets easier. you won’t be a teenager for ever.

Answer by Dinosaurs As Mates
Oh sweetie! Nobodies life is messed up!!

Think of me as a guardian angel & read this lengthy answer:
(P.S. I’m fifteen!)
Don’t you ever EVER for real don’t ever think you’re anything less then a wonderful person just because people who don’t even know you say you are.
Why let people who don’t know you judge you? They obviously have NO idea what they’re talking about, if they’re calling you loose when you’ve never even kissed a boy! You’re not loose unless you’ve slept with at least 10 different guys at 14. Or cheated on at least 10 different guys.

Listen, hun,
Confidence is such a hard thing to find but you can do it! Anybody can!
Do me this favor: (Don’t just read past this i want you to honestly do this!)
Make a list, at LEAST five things you love about yourself.
Yeah, i know it sounds cheesy, but sometimes just reminding yourself all the GOOD things about yourself can really help!
What are your strengths? Everybody has some, don’t be shy!
What are your weaknesses? Try to improve the ones you can improve, & forget the rest!
The ones you can’t improve on, just replace those with strengths.

& what the hell? What do kids in Africa have ANYTHING to do with you? Nothing, don’t relate the 2.

Here’s the REAL DEAL on you sweetie:
You have a disease. Yep. Don’t freak, don’t cry, your disease is Depression.
A lot of people don’t think of it as a real disease but IT REALLY IS.
In fact, sometimes it’s fatal, (suicide)
I’ll let you in on a secret, i tried to kill myself last year. I never realized how many people actually CARED about ME til i was in that mental institution having people call & visit. I worried & freaked out SO MANY PEOPLE. Think if you died. Think about how much that would CRUSH those who love you. Think about your funeral. No Mom or Dad should EVER have to plan the funeral of there kid. Specially not one due to suicide. It’s the hardest thing a parent could EVER go through.
Suicide IS selfish. Plain as that.

But back to your disease. What do people do when they have a disease?
Go to a doctor. Make your mom or dad or any adult take you to the doctors.
Have a counsler? No? Get one. I’m so serious. If you can’t afford it, use the one at your school! It can be sooooo helpful!
Have a psychrist? No? GET ONE! (: if you can’t afford it, & your insurance doesn’t cover it, just look to a regular doctor, or talk to a counsler about alternatives.

If you ever need someone to talk to:
1-800-273-TALK. I’m so serious, they help me.
1-800-SUICIDE How lucky suicide has 7 letters.

Or: Find a support group.
Google “Depression Support Groups Online”

Listen, you have a disease, & it CAN be conquered. I would know C:

Don’t you EVER give up.
You may think “Well even if i get over my depression, i’ll still have the same life. I’ll still move houses lots. I’ll still get picked on.”
But here’s the thing (trust me from experience)
Those problems in your life, are so hard to accomplish when you have the disease/disorder Depression. Once you conquer it, EVERYTHING GETS SO MUCH EASIER. Please PLEASE trust me.

To make a long story short:
Get help, Get meds, Conquer Disease, Conquer Low self esteem.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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