Really How Much Is a Wife Supposed to Take?

Question by wornout: Really how much is a wife supposed to take?
I am going to make this as short and unbiased as possible. I have been married for 2 years, been with my husband for 3. We have an 8 month old daughter. It has been a rocky rocky road since the day we married. My husband was a HEAVY drinker before we met and he stopped cold turkey 2 months into our relationship, he wouldn’t even drink a glass of champagne at our wedding. About 5 months into our marriage he began drinking again. We argued alot because I told him from the beginning I did not want to marry someone who was going to abuse alcohol. 9 months into our marriage he got bombed one day while out with a friend of his and he had a one night stand. He told me the next day and I forgave him and we went to counseling. 2 weeks after that incident we found out we were pregnant. It’s been a year since the infidelity and he has taken to drinking about 4-5 times a month. Which probably doesn’t seem like a big deal except that when he drinks he DRINKS…and I’m talking 24-36 beer in a 2-3 time span. He spends his entire weekend (he gets two a month) off getting drunk. He says nasty things to me when he is drunk and he leave me to care for our daughter by myself. He gets sober and promises to quit but he doesn’t. I am tired of the lies and the empty promises. I don’t want my daughter growing up in this environment but I don’t know how to leave. I have lost all hope but I don’t want to divorce him and have my daughter grow up in a broken home. I am truly lost and need advice. Has anyone been through a similar situation? How did you handle it? Was there ever any healing in your marriage? Help!

And please don’t just answer with some flippant “counseling” or “leave him.” I want advice not a brush off.
Ruth when someone gets on here and are obviously hurting to simply reply with a “leave him” or “counseling” IS flippant. People just need to know they’re not alone but have the obvious thrown in their faces. Thanks for the advice though.
I didn’t say counseling or leaving him was not something I want to hear. What I am saying is please don’t reply flippantly. I am looking for people who understand where I am at and want to expound on “counseling” or “leave him.” GEEZ people!

Best answer:

Answer by James
Been there. Didnt work out so good for me (Getting divorced, and no it wasnt me doing the drinking)

I would suggest attack the issue head on, give him an ultimatum, either he admits he has a problem and seeks help or you go! If he agrees, then enroll him in AA, and then BOTH of you go for some marriage counselling to help you through it. You will need to be his anchor to help him through this difficult stage. But if your marriage is worth saving, then its worth the hardship to try

Answer by Just Me
He isn’t going to change. If you can afford it then leave. If not contact aid society for battered women and children. They will take you in until you can find a job.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!


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