When Is It Time to Get Help (Grief Counseling)?

Question by lucky: When is it time to get help (grief counseling)?
There has been a death in my family. It was someone very close to me in age and we grew up together. It happened about 9 months ago. I am trying my best to get over it, but when anyone asks me about it I get upset and cry still. I try to visit the cemetary when I can, but the shock of it is still there. Some people have told me its time to talk to someone, but I’m not sure. Maybe this is just a normal part of the process?

Best answer:

Answer by giordanolivesinme
Here are some resources and advice: For grief related depression, go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ and type “grief” in the taskbar, and enter. Call: (U.S.A.) 1800 445 4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email [email protected] Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/grief.html and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org/ and http://www.mental-health-abc.com/ and http://www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 Understand that there are often several stages of grief.

The stages are:

1. Denial: The initial stage: “It can’t be happening.”
2. Anger: “Why ME? It’s not fair?!” (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as “responsible”)
3. Bargaining: “Just let me live to see my son graduate.”
4. Depression: “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”
5. Acceptance: “It’s going to be OK.”

Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.
See http://www.amazon.com/ for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside one day per month on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. If the depression continues, visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2.

Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning

Livingstone, B. (2002). Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager’s Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy, http://www.boblivingstone.com/.

Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books.

Simon, S, & Drantell, J. J. (1998). A Music I No Longer Heard: The Early Death of a Parent, Simon and Schuster.

Grollman, E. (1995). Living when a Loved One has Died, Beacon Press.

James, J. W. & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins.

Worden, J. W. (2001). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Professional, Springer Publishing.

Answer by electrique37
9 months seems a bit too long. I ould get some counselling when the grief begins to destroy your life. If it’s to the point where you can’t smile or you cry constantly. Then you should get conselling.

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