It’s Getting Harder to Say “Everything’S Going to Be Okay”?
Question by Person: It’s getting harder to say “Everything’s going to be okay”?
I’m a 17-year-old guy who’s been struggling with depression all summer. Can’t say that I saw many of my friend’s over the summer due to my tendency to want to be alone most of the time.
I’ve mostly been trying to “center” myself. You know, establish an identity, good moral values, high self-esteem, etc., before I go out and face the world again when school starts (in 5 days).
Now this might be the depression talking, but I can’t shake the feeling that my supposedly “centered” self is going to fare quite miserably when confronted with actual life situations. After all, things don’t always go always go as smoothly in real-life, compared to when you’re imagining the situation in your head.
I keep telling myself, “It’s all about the attitude! Keep up your current mellow, yet strong attitude and you will do just fine.” Easier said than done….that “mellow, yet strong attitude” doesn’t stay for very long. It always leaves when I need it most….during new social situations, meeting strangers, talking to old friends, meetings career counselors…my confidence just crumbles when I’m actually faced with the sources of my anxiety!
I feel horrible right now, to say the least. I honestly don’t know what question to ask you other than:
How can I finally be care-free, throw my anxiety away for good, and get around to actually LIVING my life? Should I give in and take those depression pills I hear about? I’ve been saddled with this depression for a looooong time, and I just can’t take it anymore.
Best answer:
Answer by ChemoAngel
I know what you mean. I am the most optimistic person around, but I have an incurable disease that causes me 24 hour pain, and I can’t take much more of it. I haven’t had a job in 4 years, the only thing that makes ME Feel better, personally, is volunteer work. It helps to know I can make OTHER People feel better even though I feel like crap myself! I feel horrible too….I hope you find your care free self…I am still searching for mine, but the volunteer work seems to help. :) Good Luck.
Answer by BrainBabe
Oh, my…that darned “centering” oneself is just TOO HARD, isn’t it? It sounds like you are a very bright young man…and THAT is part of your problem. I suspect you think TOO MUCH about too much, and probably need to spend a little more time outside of your head.
It’s totally normal at 17 to feel like you feel, though society doesn’t always give you that message. Life is hard as a teen, particularly in this day and age. One of the things that can help you is to take things one day at a time. If that seems particularly daunting, take them one hour at a time…or even one-quarter-hour at a time…..just do what it takes to get through each day.
You are onto something, when you say that real-life and imagined outcomes often collide….the sooner we realize that, the better off we are. So in that sense, you are ahead of your peers! Even though that is producing some anxiety for you, it is a reality you must learn to live with. Just knowing it should help your stress level plummet!
Finally, find a hobby you really enjoy, even if it is a singular pursuit, such as photography or drawing. If there is an after-school club for your hobby, join it! Hanging out with folks who share a similar interest is a very cool way to let off steam and build a community. Remember to have some fun each day!
I am the mom of two boys, and my older one, now 20, was a serious thinker, and overly anxious, from about the age of 4. The younger one, now 16, was as happy-go-lucky as they come….though he now frets at life sometimes.
You may email me if you need a shoulder to complain/vent to..or some more ideas for coping. I’m pretty good at that Mom-type stuff!
To answer your question, please try to hold off on those pills, as they have such nasty side-effects for teens…if you aren’t seeing a counselor or therapist, it might help to talk to someone. Consider asking your guidance counselor for a reference…you might even have one at school.
Good luck to you this school year!
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